Yo dont text me then not text me
Operation Purity has been aborted
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize