The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize