Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
