Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
