Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
A bitchslap is in order.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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