I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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