so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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