I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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