WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
