Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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