I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
