just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize