I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
