I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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