please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
