wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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