I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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