Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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