I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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