is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
