C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
