Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
