So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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