Have you finally orgasmed yet?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
50% drunk capacity currently
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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