The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
