my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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