I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
