your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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