I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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