im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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