Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
