His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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