Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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