i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You smell like stripper and shame
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
