My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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