i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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