But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
