Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
