they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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