I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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