if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
