I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
