if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
