im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We are all done wearing pants today
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
