Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she pinky promised me she was 18
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize