Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
