New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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