my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We're hate flirting, damnit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
