It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
