Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
