we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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