woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
