I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
