he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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