her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
