seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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