1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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